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18 Tell-tale Signs Your Guy’s Really A Krampus


1. Football season ended but the horns stayed on

You just thought he was a die-hard Vikings fan but he’s never been to Minnesota and didn’t know the lyrics to “Skol Vikings”.

2. His toothbrush is a chisel

 3. When July arrived, he was still donning the fur jumpsuit

Some people are always cold, you thought. And you were sure Great Uncle Voronkov must have spent a fortune on it. A little unconventional for sure, but it also demonstrated irresistible fashion daring.

Krampuses prefer fur

Krampuses prefer fur

4. The card beside your photo in his wallet, is a Krampus store frequent shoppers card

5. He carries a basket instead of a backpack

Though he insists that his choice book bag is more environmentally friendly than backpacks made in developing countries by child labor, you couldn’t help but notice the naughty child compartment label hanging from the side.

Krampus Cow Bells

Krampus Cow Bells

6. He wears cow bells on his butt

It makes him easier to find in Home Depot but they can get a bit annoying in the movie theater.

7. He always has chains but never a bike

 8. Bring-along campfire

Whenever you go camping, he has a burning cauldron in tow. And you thought he was just an über-prepared eagle scout.

9. He owns a broom

He may insist on calling it a “Rute” but hey, at least he has one. If only he could manage to use it without always smacking you on the legs and derrière.

10. He disappears all night on December 5


Krampuses also have glow-in-the-dark eyes

Krampuses also have glow-in-the-dark eyes

11. He grunts

You thought he had a bad case of snoring but he grunts ALL THE TIME.

12. He grew up in a cave

And his name’s not Flintstone and he never lived in Matera, Italy.

13. Little kids are on their best behavior when he’s around

They cower, do their homework, say please and thank you and even volunteer to do more chores (preferably errands that take them far away).

14. He buys you eau de toilette La Chèvre for your birthday

15. He doesn’t walk, he hops, runs or chases kids

16. His favorite song is “Ich bin das Böse”

17. When everyone else at the concert whipped out their iPhone flashlight App, he lit his torch.

St. Nikolaus - Dec 6

Nikolaus Day is celebrated one day after Krampus and the two are often traveling companions

18. A bearded guy in red suit, tall cap and long walking stick hurling out bags of candy to all who pass shows up wherever you go.

 19. He likes it when you’re naughty

Nevermind. On second thought, that proves nothing.

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KC and Krampus

KC and an Aussie girl try to tame a Krampus at Schloss Neugebäude, Vienna

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