(About) Time to Make the Donuts – Dunkin Donuts Hits Vienna

The calories bombs have arrived and Viennese are willing to stand in line for one of these rainbow colored sugar fat bombs.

So they’re not healthy.

They don’t claim to be. And Dunkin Donuts doesn’t even try to pretend they are. In fact, they even post the nutritional facts on their website in an easy-to-download PDF. But let’s face it, no one runs to the donut shop for a serving of grapefruit with a stick of celery on the side. No, you go because you’re craving sugar, fat and something more.

And what’s the more?

Happy Dunkin Donut Worker

You want to be propelled back to a time when food wasn’t about nutrition, vitamins, proteins and blah blah blah. No, you want to revisit for a pleasant little hour, the days when you chose what you consumed based on the fun factor — blinding neon green lollipops, Lightning Lemonade Bubbalicious and candy made by a chemist who melted ingredients into a syrup and then exposed them to pressurized carbon dioxide gas (600 pounds per square inch (!)) just so you could have the ultimate sensation of Pop Rocks exploding in your mouth and staining your tongue and teeth with toxic shades of red and blue.

Sadly, not even Eric’s homemade brewskis, though ice cold and great with poker, smile back at you when you reach for one.

Queue in front of DD on Mariahilferstrasse in Vienna on a Friday afternoon

But Mrs. Happy International doughnut will. And who can resist smiling back at a bunch of doughnuts grinning from doughnut-edge to doughnut edge. Especially if only the MRS. made it into the shop shelves of Mariahilf though her hubby is featured in the glossy brochure.

More than just donuts – pastrami, wraps and BAGELS!

For Austrians venturing to Dunkin Donuts for the first time – here’s some tips: Yes, Americans do like the flavored coffees – be bold and give ‘em a try, bagels are not to be missed and if you get them to go, take them home and toast them and then slather on some Philadelphia crème cheese purchased at your local Billa or fry up some chives, smoked salmon and eggs and bite into a taste of the Big Apple.

And if you are trying to brownie up at the office, pick up a dozen or two of these glazed temptations to go and then – just because you’re such a great guy (or gal) — drop them on a plate in the staff kitchen, send the “Office All” (even-the-guy-who-sits-next-to-the-copier-who-no-one-knows-his-name) email with the Betreff: “Donuts — Come and Get ‘em While they last.” Then stand back and spectate as your co-workers wrestle till the last (wo)man is triumphantly standing with Boston Crème in hand. (And be sure to put one aside for copy man – you want to be sure he’ll keep helping you unjam the papers you print).

Donuts in every color of the rainbow

For Americans living in Austria – Austrians are like Bilbao Baggins – when you have a birthday, you bring a treat for your co-workers not vice versa so see previous paragraph. With Dunkin Donuts in town, you will never again suffer a birthday morning brain freeze at the local U-Bahn Anker trying to determine if your co-workers would prefer the Kaisergugelhupf or the Topfenkuchen. And the big bonus: THEY ARE OPEN SUNDAYS!

And for Viennese policeman – your American counterparts might like to snag a free donut and coffee by hanging out at the local Dunkin Donuts but – alas – I fear the shop here in Vienna has barely enough seating to accommodate Paris Hilton with her Chihuahua in tow, let alone the city’s defenders of peace and justice.

And anyone who would like to indulge themselves in the total Dunkin Donut experience, just gotta get to know Fred – the “Gotta-Make-the-Donuts” guy. Sometimes a bit creepy, always lovable and a true blue American icon:

Vienna Dunkin Donuts Website: http://dunkin.at/

Anxious donut fans wait in line at Dunkin Donuts shop on Mariahilferstrasse

Two Dunkin Donuts Vienna Locations:

1) Mariahilfer Strasse 95, 1060 Vienna

(end nearest Westbahnhof – U3 Subway Station Zieglergasse)

Monday – Friday: 7 am – 8 pm

Saturdays: 9 am – 9 pm

Sundays: 9 am – 6 pm

2) Meidlinger Hauptstrasse 55, 1120 Vienna

(U4 Subway Meidling Hauptstrasse)

Monday – Friday: 7 am – 8 pm

Dunkin Donuts flavored coffees

Saturdays: 9 am – 9 pm

Sundays: 9 am – 6 pm