Krautwachter: If you’re a policeman or a soldier and been more naughty than nice, you might find yourself on a fast track for a career as Krautwachter. And who wants a job title that shares half itself with a gas-inducing vegetable? Kraut for cabbage and Wachter for guard. So a cabbage guard refers to the person in charge of doing critical work like watching over the heads of cabbage. You thought it wouldn’t be just a job but an adventure. But you were out munching down on donuts and powdering your rhino tattoo just one marijuana-dealing Oma too many and found yourself shipped off to the Krauts to an assignment threatening fatality through boredom.
And no complaints that this post is gender bias. The term is very clearly Krautwachter and NOT Krautwächterin, which of course doesn’t exist. You won’t find the ladies hanging out with the greens because clearly they are always more nice than naughty and know when to put down the Crispy Cremes and pursue the bad Omis.
Delve more into the Austrian creative side with their rant words: “Der Kleine Wappler” by Astrid Wintersberger, Residenz Verlag — book is completely in Austrian language.
Website of Austrian Dialect: Ostarrichi.org
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