Wives are people who feel that they don’t dance enough. ~Groucho Marx
Part of the joy of dancing is conversation. Trouble is, some men can’t talk and dance at the same time. ~Ginger Rogers
Coat and Tails are just rigt for a ball at the Imperial Palace, here at the House of Gentlemen on Vienna’s Kohlmarkt in the 1st district
Cinderella is proof that finding the right man to take you to the ball can change your life. Or maybe just finding the right shoes.
But let’s face it, not even the finest shoes can outshine a couple on the dance floor who knows their moves. Or are having fun faking it.
Last year at Kaffeesiederball, I met – dare I admit — a fellow American who boasted about the amount of balls he had attended that season (note to fellow Americans – all Austrians are required by the State to master two skills in their lifetimes – skiing and waltzing). This American Ball King rattled off some impressive number that amounted to a ball every single weekend. I could hardly wait to see him twirl. An American guy who can waltz – finally!
Fortunately, what he lacked in talent, he definitely made up for in enthusiasm. His smile shone so brightly that he practically managed to blind all present to his two very left feet. (ever see the completely bizarre film, The World’s End? Kinda blinding like that). Mark Twain once said, “Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching.” This guy loved to dance like no one was hurting.
So even if you don’t know how to 1-2-3, 1-2-3 you can still have a great time with a partner with the right attitude. But let’s say you don’t have a partner or you really love to dance without getting stepped on the whole night.
Ball attire for the man
Who you gonna call?
Your own personal John Travolta, Patrick Swayze or Richard Gere on your fab five cell list. The kind of guys who want to spend their weekends dancing to forget about the reality of their everyday lives or their dead-end jobs. Or maybe the kind of guys who just like to dance. And actually know how.
Yep, money will buy you anything.
Even a man with good manners who loves to dance. And the bonus is that he won’t tell you that dress makes you look fat and definitely won’t complain about your mother or talk about his (unless, maybe you pay him to do so).
Met this rogue garden gnome at a ball but I don’t think he was for rent (but you never know!)
And how much will you have to dish out? Over an agency – about 40 – 50 € an hour plus drinks and if booking for a ball, the cost for the ball ticket. Keep in mind that a chunk of his hourly pay is going to the agency. Privately, people will charge about 15 – 20 € per hour.
True, this can add up. Tickets to the Kaffeesiederball cost 125 € a person. You arrive at the ball at 8 pm and leave at 5 am – that’s 9 hours. If you are dishing out 15 – 50 € per hour, your total by the end of the night will be somewhere between 135 – 450 €. For argument’s sake, let’s take the median and say 292 €. So to have a guy who can dance at you side for an entire evening at the Kaffeesiederball, you’re realistically looking at a bill of around 417 € plus drinks! (and maybe even a tip – I don’t know the tipping etiquette with Taxitänzer). At the current exchange rate of 1 € = US $1.37, that adds up to a whopping US $ 570. Just to have him along! We’re not even adding in your own expenses yet!
Holy cha cha, Batman! Where’s the hope of a dancing girl now?!
White Dancing Gloves
I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish, I wish tonight.
I wish for a man who looks across the table, rises from his chair, bows, offers his hand and asks, “May I?” (Darf ich bitten?)
Guilt, Cinderella, can be alleviated by playing with the numbers – look at it as a once annual cost rather than a one night cost. So $ US 570 is really only US $47.50 a month, US $ 9.75/week or just a mere US $ 1.57/day (less than the price of that Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino you promised to give up at New Year’s and he’ll be helping you burn the calories in the process, not make them).
And these Dancing Darlings aren’t just rentable for balls – their available for all kinds of dancing functions. In fact, some of the agencies’ best customers are retirement home residents.
But hands off, Grandma! Hitting on taxi dancers is strictly VERBOTEN!
I do everything the man does, only backwards and in high heels! – Ginger Rogers
And about the shoes –truth is a perfect night of dancing requires the right man and the right shoes. So go in heels and slip a pair of flats in your bag. By midnight, after all the photos have been taken and the guys are removing their jackets, you can perform your own version of the old bait and switch. At 5 am when you’re still smiling and ready to fiaker on over to Café Landtmann for some breakfast and continued fun, your date –whether he’s on the clock or not — will be grateful to be spending time with a woman who knows how to look good without letting it get in her way of having a great time.
Two Agencies in Vienna
Agency: “Original Taxi-Dancer”, (http://www.taxi-dancer.at/) founded in 1989.
Party Dancer: http://www.partydancer.at/tanzbegleitung.php
Read more here:
Article from the Austrian newspaper, die Presse, about Taxi Dancers: http://diepresse.com/home/panorama/oesterreich/483480/Taxitaenzer_Tanzpartner-fur-40-Euro
See my last two blog posts on Vienna and its Balls:
Vienna Ball Calendar 2014
Time to Have a Ball
What Every Girl Must Learn: Advice for Balls and Sex