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Posts from the ‘Life’ Category

BORED IN SKULL – Austrian Phrase of the Week

Print This PostFad im Schädel: Best illustrated by possible exchange between two college freshmen:
Girl: (Contemplating if a hammer or strong tug would be more effective) Whatever possessed you to put a flower pot on your head in the first place?
Guy Who Looks Like Devo Band Member Wannabe: (assuming he is somewhat honest, self-aware or alcohol is making him brutally so):  It’s not a flower pot, it’s an energy dome and “es war mir fad im Schädel.

Devo rock band

Devo rock band

It was to him boring in his skull. Meaning? He was so bored out of his mind, that some primitive part of his brain deduced that acting like an idiot was a more preferable state of being. (and don’t get the guy version of hissy-fit on me guys – man up and simply admit it’s definitely a guy syndrome).

Still in denial? Staple gun battles with the guys in the barracks. Tasering-just-for-fun amongst police colleagues. The who-can-hold-onto-the-electric-fence-the-longest cowboys. Th red-hot-chilli-pepper-eating contest because the poker game needed higher stakes.

The popularity of the Fad-im-Schädel Poster Children — MTV’s “Jackass” stars – was perhaps predictable. The Youtube Nightline clip of the show features the byline “Really Bored Dudes on ABC’s Nightline.” Nightline’s lead-in question: “But why are they doing all that?” Seriously Nightline? Just because the English language hasn’t yet adopted fad im Schädel, doesn’t mean English-speaking guys are any less afflicted. The phrase is bound to make it into the American Heritage (or its equivalent) sooner or later, just an entry above Schadenfreude, which is what the ladies experience when the chilli pepper pain is difficult to quench, the staple guns leave their wounds, the tasers hit an unintended mark, or the flower pot demands professional assistance for removal.

This is obviously an international phenomena that also strikes British men as well – check out what this guy got up to while the Mrs. was away: Aycliff man who stole woman’s knickers was bored because wife was away at dog shows, court told – the thoroughness of the roving news reporter’s tenacity for fact-finding is impressive. Lizzie will stop at nothing to get every detail into her knicker caper article – even the exact color of the knickers (yellow).

The school boys in the painting featured here are all suffering severe boredom in their skulls as their teacher dozes away their lesson.

Everything you never wanted to know about the Jackass series on Wikipedia.

And – because you know you are dying for it: Devo’s Whip It Video.

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WHAT WE CAN LEARN IN THE USA FROM A PLACE LIKE AUSTRIA

“Give me the strength to change the things I can, the courage to endure the things I can’t and the wisdom to recognize the difference.”

“Don’t compare. It’s neither better nor worse, it’s just different.“ Print This Post

If It Were My Home

Chart Comparing the US to Austria from the Country Comparison Website: If It Were My Home (click on image for enlarged view)

Rule # 1 of being an exchange student is simply another way of pounding into bright-eyed, bushy-tailed homesick teens that to truly enjoy their experience abroad, and get the most out their host country, they will have to come equipped with an open mind.

When you spend an entire lifetime driving the half-a-block to the grocery store, you tend to become misled by the notion that the car is indeed the right way and only possible way to fetch your groceries.

Exchange Student Rule # 1, however, is an over- simplified message for about-to-be overwhelmed globetrotters. But for 16- and 17-year olds spending a year in some faraway land, perhaps their first time away from all that is familiar, I’d venture that, yes, it is a good rule to follow. Definitely do not compare their fork-and-knife eating pizza habits to our shove-it-in-your-mouth methods. Frankly, can we really be sure that Uncle Ted truly did wash his hands when he came in from the bushes and dug into the Pepperoni extra cheese.

But at some point, if we strive to grow and progress, life demands that we adopt Global Adult Rule # 1, which, God help us all, if I were Supreme Ruler of the World, I’d make required reading for all those entering adulthood.

Golden Adult Rule # 1: Encounter the world with a mature mind, able to weigh pros and cons honestly and without the rose-colored glasses of pride or ego in order to maintain a forward moving pace.

One can imagine that the first cave dwellers to slap some hide around their tired, calloused, bloodied, hairy, feet must have suffered ridicule from the cave clan one valley over. But as the smoke and drum beats from the shoed community seeped into the quiet, hungry corners of the cranky, sore-footed neighbor valley, ridicule must have dissipated into cautious skepticism. Maybe perhaps, it is definitely theoretically possible, that those frequent mammoth feasts are made possible by hunters who can run faster and track over greater distances. But who wants to admit they’re wrong and outdone? We’ll just go on with our grim bare-footed ways. But the storm gates of progress are not to be contained. No doubt, some buck-wild, bare-footed Neanderthal teen crashed the Friday night all-you-can-eat mammoth happy hour with his big-toed buddies and scored a pair of shiny, new, leathery-soft, prehistoric Pradas in the midnight pin-the-tail on the megaloceros competition and shoes went viral and feet have never been quite as pained and ugly since.

To think that any society can progress – technically or socially — by its citizens barricading themselves behind stone walls of obstinate obliviousness is to damn ourselves to darkness.

Pakistan flood in Texas

If the 2010 Pakistan flood that had directly killed 2000 people had hit Texas.

And that’s what’s so great about the website, If It Were My Home. Originally the creators wanted to make disasters more real for the folks at home by enabling users to transpose maps of natural catastrophes to any part of the globe (you can see, for example, what it would be like if the 2010 Pakistan massive flood had struck climate-change denier, Senator Ted Cruz’s home state of Texas). Later the creators of the website used the official figures from national government and international organizations to enable direct comparisons between two countries. How different would my life be if I lived in Austria rather than the US? Well…let’s have a look.

In the US, my friends and family can expect to enjoy 9.2% less free time, spend 64.5% more on healthcare, and die a whopping 0.61 years sooner than those of us in Austria. On the downside, I’ll probably earn 19.3% less money than my counterparts in the US. But in a place with free public universities, universal healthcare, and a public transportation system that charges just 1€/day for annual tickets, who needs more money?

Years ago, there was a trio of old ladies on a US commercial for a fast food chain whose no-nonsense attitude shot them to instantaneous fame. As Granny # 1 jammed her wire-rimmed eye glasses into the big white fluffy bun of the competitor, Granny Peller, clutching her handbag and stretching her lace-collared neck for a better look, demanded, “Where’s the beef?”

In the States, when we tout our greatest-nation-on-earth status, what are we comparing and to whom? Every country I have ever visited thinks itself the greatest. India boasts that it’s the world’s largest democracy, Greece, the world’s oldest and Norway can brag about having the most qualitative. All countries have something to puff out their chests about. Yet an intelligent conversation leading to progress demands an end to platitudes and a comparison based on real figures. Yes, Granny Peller, “Where’s the beef?!”

Comparisons can be dicey. When one side is clearly better, the limping lag-behind is bound to get defensive and lash out. We like our big-toed bunion blistered bare feet! You shoed footed sissies need to trot on back over to that valley of yours and stop all that stupid drumming and grilling! But as modern, intelligent, humans, we must hope, at some point, to have reached the maturity to leave our egos in the cave beside the spears and hammer-stones, and venture to the valley across the mighty mountain and icy river to learn, transfer and improve. And you know what? We might find that those cave crocs are great but could sure use some traction for the stony paths, fur for the winter and color for the misses.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put away childish ways.

I do not believe that Austrians are less criminally-minded. I am also not convinced Americans have a violence gene that makes them more prone to murder each other. Despite the wonderful Alpine air, I highly doubt that “frische Luft” is the reason for fewer infancy deaths here.

So why such differences? Isn’t it time we stop the platitudes, check our egos, climb the mountains, and change the things we can?

Print This Post Some sites to check out:

Country comparisons and transposable global disaster maps If It Were My Home Website

Check out these Instructions for Prehistoric Pumps. Bound to be the buzz at any paleontology party. People will be emulating you as the picture of progress.

Article from the New York Times about archeological find of prehistoric shoes complete with image of Prehistoric Prada found under sheep dung.

And just for fun: Shoes vs. Beer – which is progress? Check out Heineken’s take on the matter: https://youtu.be/zZfy0gpIARE

Where’s the Beef Commercial on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug75diEyiA0

Where’s the Beef Wikipedia entry: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where%27s_the_beef%3F

Global Democracy Ranking site: Compare Rankings of Countries

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A MINUTE OF SILENCE – SCHWEIGEMINUTE – CUM TACENT, CLAMANT

“ I don’t think–”
“Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter.
– Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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Twenty kilometers south of Vienna is a 900-year-old town of about 18,000 residents named Traiskirchen. The name Traiskirchen, if you would translate it into English, would mean “Trais Church” and evokes images of a quaint lazy existence amongst the vineyards that have been cultivated there since the 12th Century.

There’s a town museum open on Sundays and holidays from 8:30 – 12:30, an observatory, a landmark castle that now houses a kindergarten and, of course, some churches. But it’s the old barracks that have been drawing the most attention in recent months. These serve as Austria’s initial entry point for the thousands of desperate but hopeful asylum seekers currently flooding into Austria and the rest of Europe from Northern Africa and Syria. The amount of migrants who have traveled to Italy and Greece by sea alone who be like the entire population of Madison, Wisconsin picking up their things and making their way, through the greed, grace or underhandedness of smugglers to get to Corpus Christi, Texas with only that which they can carry and their toddlers and babies in tow.

As someone who, for decades, has leaned positively towards the idea of a more united Europe, I have been sorely disappointed by the woefully ineffective response of countries touting their “unity” to this humanitarian crisis. Unfortunately, Austria’s politicians have also been caught with their incompetency showing. While talking heads on ORF concerned about upcoming national elections battle out ad nauseam who is responsible and what should have been and should be done, families that have journeyed thousands of miles to flee the worst atrocities of war and hunger, are left to sleep on the pavement in record-breaking heat and merciless rain.

Seriously? This is the best we can do?

Fortunately, the citizens of Austria think not and have started their own efforts to counter the failings of those they elected to deal with exactly such issues. One of these commendable initiatives is from the Austrian artist, Raoul Haspel, who has posted a 60-second “Minute of Silence” (Schweigeminute Traiskirchen) on iTunes and Amazon. Users who pay .99 cents are buying more than 60 seconds of silence, their expressing their dissatisfaction of the current handling of the crisis and donating to the initiative to help the asylum seekers. According to news reports, in addition, Haspel is donating out-of-pocket the part of the purchase price collected by Amazon and iTunes. One would hope that some clever Amazon and iTunes executive would recognize the PR opportunity to step up to plate and donate the fees back again.

Haspel’s desire to bring worldwide attention to this tragedy and show solidarity with those who have gone to such great lengths to safely exist is sure to be heard.

Cum tacent, clamant.

Europe’s politicians would be wise to follow Raoul Haspel’s lead and the not-so-Mad Hatter’s advice. If you don’t think, you shouldn’t talk. Listen to the silence and act.

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Austrian Artist Raoul Haspel’s website

Very good BBC report on the current crisis: Why is EU struggling with migrants and asylum? http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-24583286

Cum tacent, clamant. (Cicero: With their silence, they cry out).

#1schweigeminute #1minuteofsilence

www.schweigeminute.com

 

 

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FIVE WEEKS OF VACATION – REQUIRED!

Five weeks. Let’s just get that out of the way at the very beginning. Austrians get FIVE WEEKS OF VACATION by law. That’s vacation. Paid. No funny-math-calculated HR schemes that combine sick days with holidays plus fire drills or whatever days. Nope. 5 weeks off.

Recovered from that shock? Good. Here’s the next doozy.

That doesn’t include the public holidays.

As a historically Catholic country, Austria has lots of saint days and other important church events that need to be solemnly remembered without the drone of copy machines and the buzz of Outlook reminders to cloud the experience. So how many public holidays are there per year here? 13.5 — plus a day extra for certain religious groups.

So someone working 5 days a week, is entitled to 25 vacation days + 13.5 public holidays  = a whopping 38.5 days off a year. Who wouldn’t be inspired to climb every mountain and ford every stream?

So perhaps think again before you angle that computer cam to reflect the shine of those ice-cubes floating in your sweet tea and the slight lifting of your bangs gently fluttering back and forth from the air vent showering a cool breeze over your cubicle. Sure it might be fun to torture those European project partners and American friends dripping and melting abroad without air con. But next week, and perhaps the week after that, and maybe the week after that and perhaps another week in October and maybe a skiing week in February, they could be laying under palm trees, dining on Moussaka, sipping some Tuscany out of a bottle and hitting the fresh powdery slopes, while you, my dear, cool, air-conditioned friend, are chained to the grinding stone in the only advanced economy in the world that does not require paid vacation time.

Buttercup, Sloth, Sloth Sanctuary

Buttercup certainly knows how to hang out and enjoy her free time

Yep, Mother Abbess gave good advice. Climb every mountain and ford every stream. Because whether you are Maria strumming on your guitar in an abbey in Salzburg, or Buttercup lazing in your cafe (no wait, she’s in Costa Rica) or Mario stocking Billa shelves in Vienna’s 10th district, Austria has made sure you’d have the time off to follow every rainbow until you find your dreams. Print This Post

Forbes’s Article about US’s Disappearing Vacation Days

Forbe’s Article – US The Only Advanced Economy That Does Not Require Employers to Provide Paid Vacation Time

For more cute animal photos from my vacation following my dream to meet Buttercup – check out my Facebook page.

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