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Taxitänzer (Taxi Dancer) – Rent a Man …to Dance

Wives are people who feel that they don’t dance enough. ~Groucho Marx

Part of the joy of dancing is conversation. Trouble is, some men can’t talk and dance at the same time. ~Ginger Rogers

Coat and Tails are just rigt for a ball at the Imperial Palace

Coat and Tails are just rigt for a ball at the Imperial Palace, here at the House of Gentlemen on Vienna’s Kohlmarkt in the 1st district

Cinderella is proof that finding the right man to take you to the ball can change your life. Or maybe just finding the right shoes.

But let’s face it, not even the finest shoes can outshine a couple on the dance floor who knows their moves. Or are having fun faking it.

Last year at Kaffeesiederball, I met – dare I admit — a fellow American who boasted about the amount of balls he had attended that season (note to fellow Americans – all Austrians are required by the State to master two skills in their lifetimes – skiing and waltzing). This American Ball King rattled off some impressive number that amounted to a ball every single weekend. I could hardly wait to see him twirl. An American guy who can waltz – finally!

Well…

Fortunately, what he lacked in talent, he definitely made up for in enthusiasm. His smile shone so brightly that he practically managed to blind all present to his two very left feet. (ever see the completely bizarre film, The World’s End? Kinda blinding like that).  Mark Twain once said, “Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching.” This guy loved to dance like no one was hurting.

So even if you don’t know how to 1-2-3, 1-2-3 you can still have a great time with a partner with the right attitude. But let’s say you don’t have a partner or you really love to dance without getting stepped on the whole night.

Ball Attire for the guy

Ball attire for the man

Who you gonna call?

Taxitänzer!

Your own personal John Travolta, Patrick Swayze or Richard Gere on your fab five cell list. The kind of guys who want to spend their weekends dancing to forget about the reality of their everyday lives or their dead-end jobs. Or maybe the kind of guys who just like to dance. And actually know how.

Yep, money will buy you anything.

Even a man with good manners who loves to dance. And the bonus is that he won’t tell you that dress makes you look fat and definitely won’t complain about your mother or talk about his (unless, maybe you pay him to do so).

Garden Gnome from the other side of the fence

Met this rogue garden gnome at a ball but I don’t think he was for rent (but you never know!)

And how much will you have to dish out? Over an agency – about 40 – 50 € an hour plus drinks and if booking for a ball, the cost for the ball ticket. Keep in mind that a chunk of his hourly pay is going to the agency. Privately, people will charge about 15 – 20 € per hour.

True, this can add up. Tickets to the Kaffeesiederball cost 125 € a person. You arrive at the ball at 8 pm and leave at 5 am – that’s 9 hours. If you are dishing out 15 – 50 € per hour, your total by the end of the night will be somewhere between 135 –  450 €. For argument’s sake, let’s take the median and say 292 €. So to have a guy who can dance at you side for an entire evening at the Kaffeesiederball, you’re realistically looking at a bill of around 417 € plus drinks! (and maybe even a tip – I don’t know the tipping etiquette with Taxitänzer). At the current exchange rate of 1 € = US $1.37, that adds up to a whopping US $ 570. Just to have him along! We’re not even adding in your own expenses yet!

Wow!

Holy cha cha, Batman! Where’s the hope of a dancing girl now?!

White Dancing Gloves

White Dancing Gloves

I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish, I wish tonight.

I wish for a man who looks across the table, rises from his chair, bows, offers his hand and asks, “May I?” (Darf ich bitten?)

Guilt, Cinderella, can be alleviated by playing with the numbers – look at it as a once annual cost rather than a one night cost. So $ US 570 is really only US $47.50 a month, US $ 9.75/week or just a mere US $ 1.57/day (less than the price of that Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino you promised to give up at New Year’s and he’ll be helping you burn the calories in the process, not make them).

And these Dancing Darlings aren’t just rentable for balls – their available for all kinds of dancing functions. In fact, some of the agencies’ best customers are retirement home residents.

But hands off, Grandma! Hitting on taxi dancers is strictly VERBOTEN!

I do everything the man does, only backwards and in high heels! – Ginger Rogers

And about the shoes –truth is a perfect night of dancing requires the right man and the right shoes. So go in heels and slip a pair of flats in your bag. By midnight, after all the photos have been taken and the guys are removing their jackets, you can perform your own version of the old bait and switch. At 5 am when you’re still smiling and ready to fiaker on over to Café Landtmann for some breakfast and continued fun, your date –whether he’s on the clock or not — will be grateful to be spending time with a woman who knows how to look good without letting it get in her way of having a great time.

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Two Agencies in Vienna

Agency: “Original Taxi-Dancer”, (http://www.taxi-dancer.at/) founded in 1989.

Party Dancer: http://www.partydancer.at/tanzbegleitung.php

Read more here:

Article from the Austrian newspaper, die Presse, about Taxi Dancers: http://diepresse.com/home/panorama/oesterreich/483480/Taxitaenzer_Tanzpartner-fur-40-Euro

See my last two blog posts on Vienna and its Balls:

Vienna Ball Calendar 2014

Time to Have a Ball

What Every Girl Must Learn: Advice for Balls and Sex

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Time to Have a Ball – Vienna, World Capital of Balls – Ball 101

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, because your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance, Well they’re no friends of mine.
– Men at Work, You Can Dance If You Want to

No matter what you like – boogie, techno, brass bands, coffee, flowers, real estate, Mozart, whips, chains and leather – there is a ball for you.

Remember prom? You in a floor-length gown, him in a tux at the Marriott “Grand Ball Room” with its patterned carpets and stackable chairs. The room made to look upscale by helium-filled metallic balloons and some pink carnations. A DJ played music upon request over a sound system meant for a room 10 times the size. During the slow dances you resembled a weeble wobble zombie who won’t fall down and during the not-so-slow dances part of a larger group of teens experiencing some kind of body-contorting seizure. Ahh the good old days. The prom.

A Vienna Ball is nothing like your prom. Nothing. Except maybe the gown and the tux. But beyond that, nothing at all.

No, a Vienna Ball is a thousand times better and should definitely be one your bucket list and I am going to help you with some little Ball 101.

Background
The Vienna ball season takes place during the carnival and is usually launched New Year’s Eve with the Imperial Ball http://www.legrandbal.at/ at the Imperial Palace.  Over 400 balls take place in the city during this time with over 300,000 guests. Balls are sponsored by occupational groups, trade unions, universities, interest groups — if you’ve got an interest, Vienna’s got the ball. And ball wear can vary from traditional gowns and tuxes to Austrian Dirndl dresses and Lederhosen to funky new wave what-would-you-call-what-is-covering-your-essentials. In the 1800s, Emperor Josef II began hosting dance events in the Redouten Halls of the Grand Imperial Palace. On a Carnival Monday on March 3, 1783, Mozart performed Masquerade in the Vienna Redouten Hall. On April 27, 1854, Johann Strauss directed the grand Court Ball in the Redouten Halls to celebrate Emperor Franz Josef’s wedding with the Bavarian Princess Elisabeth (Empress“Sissy”).

Me and my friend at the Lifeball 2014

Me and my crazy Philly buddy at the Lifeball 2014

BALL 101 — QUICK FACTS TO HELP YOU OUT

Not Having a Man is No Excuse
Don’t have a man? Get one here: Taxi Dancer – Rent a Man … to Dance – Check out my post entitled Taxitänzer (Taxi Dancer) – Rent a Man…To Dance.

What to Wear
Don’t wait for the fairy godmother to show up and wave her magic wand. You need to go in style and this Ball Guide should help with the basics> Vienna Unwrapped’s List of Evening Dress Shops in Vienna

Hallway at Kaffeesiederball during Midnight Show

Hallway at Kaffeesiederball during Midnight Show

The Ball Opening
The honored guests parade into the ballroom and are seated. Next come the debutants who are dressed in long white gowns, long white gloves and crowns. They are accompanied by their “cavaliers” who are handsome young men also wearing white gloves and coat and tails. As they enter the ball room, typically Fächer-Polonaise from Carl Michael Ziehrer plays. Here is the Vienna Business Ball Opening from 2012

How do you know it’s time for everyone to dance?
After the debutantes and their partners do their little numbers, the master of ceremony declares the infamous words, “Alles Walzer” (Everything Waltzes) and all the guests flood out onto the dance floor and dance.

You can dance if you want to, but if you can’t, don’t let that stop you.
Just because you have two left feet, doesn’t mean you wouldn’t enjoy attending a ball in Vienna. In 2010, a survey conducted by the Vienna Economic Chamber asked ball guests why they liked to attend the Vienna balls. Dancing didn’t make the top three reasons. Instead, they said they liked to go because they wanted to:

Kaffeesiederball Vienna Imperial Palace

Kaffeesiederball Vienna Imperial Palace

1)      spend a nice evening with their partners
2)      enjoy the flair
3)      meet up with friends

At midnight, don’t run home unless you’re Cinderella
Midnight at the Ball is usually what they call the “Mitternachtseinlage” which is a break in the normal ball event for a special performance in the main ball room by featured guests and should be a surprise treat for the guests.

Ladies always get to take home a gift (and I don’t mean the dance partner)
Damenspende: a gift for each of the ladies as she enters the ball (or goes home)

The Invitation
How do you ask the lady to dance? “Darf ich bitten?” And if you are at a table with a group of people you know, be sure to ask every lady to dance by the end of the evening if you want your manners to keep stride with your tuxedo appearance.

Who knew?
Gentlemen who wear a coat and tails are not supposed to wear a wrist watch (tsk! tsk!) but rather a pocket watch on a gold chain.  As if anyone nowadays is wearing a watch anyway. Maybe you can get a pocket watch app and be trendy or a gold chain for your I-Phone.

Raffle Goodies at Kaffeesiederball

Raffle Goodies at Kaffeesiederball

Raffle Tickets / Tombola
Raffle tickets are usually sold at balls and sell out quickly so if you see a long line forming that isn’t for the restrooms, elbow your way in and buy some tickets. At many of the balls, every ticket will win you something or another.

How do you know it’s time to go home?
The Viennese have a subtle way to indicate it’s been fun but now it’s time to hit the road– the song that means “scram go home now” is “Brüderlein fein” from Ferdinand Raimund (1826) and is typically the very last song of the ball. I am adding it here so you recognize it and don’t embarrass yourself by requesting an encore once it’s played — “Brüderlein fein” with Hans Moser and Renate Holm.

What every Girl Must Learn
Check out my post on what balls and sex have in common with some advice from Dr. Ruth and Emily Post: What every Girl Must Learn: Advice for Balls and Sex.

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Little brother so fine, little brother so fine
don’t be upset with me
little brother so fine, little brother so fine,
don’t be upset with me
even when the sun is still shining so beautifully
she has to go down sometime.
Little brother so fine, little brother so fine,
don’t have to be sad
Brüderlein fein, Brüderlein fein,
Mußt mir ja nicht böse sein;
Brüderlein fein, Brüderlein fein,
Mußt nicht böse sein.
Scheint die Sonne noch so schön,
Einmal muß sie untergehn.
Brüderlein fein, Brüderlein fein,
Mußt nicht traurig sein.

For a comprehensive list of the 2014 Balls in Vienna so you can plan which ones you should be attending, see my next post: 2014 Vienna Ball Calendar. Print This Post

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Got Glück? Good Luck Charms /Glücksbringer (Good luck bringers)

Good Luck Charm Kiosk in Vienna

Good Luck Charm Kiosk in Vienna

“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help.”– Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

Lucky Pigs

Lucky Pigs

A long standing tradition in Austria is for people to give each other good luck charms on New Year’s Eve. So in Vienna as Christmas market kiosk owners seal shut boxes of unsold ornaments and nativity scenes, New Year’s market kiosk owners unpack boxes of plush pigs, chocolate chimney sweeps and plastic horseshoes. Good luck charm enthusiasts will exchange over ten million trinkets on New Year’s Eve and will individually dish out anywhere between 5 to 20 Euros for their charms. In fact 6 out of 10 Austrians can’t resist stopping when a New Year’s kiosk is near though I would wager that the number of Austrians who can’t resist stopping when a Glühwein stand is near is higher.

THEY BRING GOOD LUCK

Chimney Sweep / Rauchfangkehrer (smoke catch sweeper, pronounced: Rawch fong carer): By freeing the chimneys of soot and grime, chimney sweeps reduced the risk of fires in the households and whose going to argue that not having a fire destroy all that you own is very good luck. Besides, those chimney sweeps do look snazzy in their uniforms. And this all reminds me of the song, Chim Chim Cheree, from Mary Poppins which I think it is high time to introduce to the Austrians (yes, English nannies fly around London singing with their umbrellas).

Chimney Sweeps

Chimney Sweeps

So watch the video AND the bouncing ball and engage in pure unadulterated fun for a whole two minutes and 41 seconds by closing your door, turning up the volume and stripping away all your inhibitions to sing along – who can be a sour puss after singing that? Check out just the lyrics if you want to practice some before hitting the karaoke bar with your Mary Poppins gig.

Four Leaf Clovers / Glücksklee (lucky clover, pronounced: Glue kss clay): Because they appear so seldom in nature, they bring good luck. And according to legend, Eve carried a four leaf clover with her when leaving the Garden of Eden.  Also, the clover is a symbol for the cross and should make secret wishes come true.  Remember the song: “I’m looking over a four-leaf clover That I overlooked before. One leaf is sunshine, the second is rain, Third is the roses that grow in the lane. No need explaining the one remaining Is somebody I adore.

Four Leaf Clover

Four Leaf Clover

I’m looking over a four-leaf clover That I overlooked before. ” (check out the Four Leaf Clover video in case you think KC’s finally fallen off her rocker) Imagine! You could do a Mary Poppins-Emmy Rossum medley. If you’re checkin out Emmy Rossum anyway, listen to Sentimental Journey – smooth and sultry to put you in the right mood for your New Year’s Eve celebrations – great stuff. And also, I recommend the Chevy Chase version of Four Leaf Clover that gets good by the second refrain.

Horseshoe / Hufeisen (hoof iron, pronounced: whoof ay sin):

Lucky Four Leaf Clover and Horseshoe

Lucky Four Leaf Clover and Horseshoe

In earlier times, horses were valuable working animals and the horse shoes protected them. If you hang a horseshoe above the door, definitely make sure you have nailed it in good and the open end is pointing towards the sky so the good luck doesn’t run out (don’t you hate when that happens?).

Lady Bug / Marienkäfer / Glückskäfer (Marian beetle / Good luck beetle, pronounced: Ma ree an Kay fer): The lady bug is called “Marian Beetle” in German and symbolizes a gift from the Holy Mother Mary to earth.  The lady bug protects the young and old, and heals the sick and weak. And, of course, killing or injuring a lady bug will bring bad luck, and not just for the lady bug. Perhaps lady bugs bring good luck because they have up to seven black spots on their backs and in German-speaking countries the number seven is considered lucky. So in Austria a cat has seven, not nine lives here (so go Anglo Garfield). If you are in love in German-speaking countries, you are hanging out on cloud seven, not cloud nine so check your country before picking your cloud.

Lady Bug with seven dots and Lucky Cent

Lady Bug with seven dots and Lucky Cent

Lucky Cent / Glückscent (pronounced: Glue kss cent): an old lucky cent was made of copper which was said to chase away black magic and strengthen the power of love. As protection from witches, people nailed a votive cent to the doors or their stalls. And if you carried a lucky cent in your pocket, it protected you from lies and trickery at the pub and cattle market. Something to consider next time you find yourself wrangling for some bulls at the old cattle market. And the reason why finding a cent is lucky (particularly if you manage to pick it up without herniating a disk, getting pancaked by a City Bike or tipping some shopping trolley wielding Oma with your derrière) is because all great things start small. “Wer das Kleine nicht ehrt, ist das Große nicht wehrt” He who does not appreciate the small is not worth the great.

Pig /Glücksschwein (good luck pig, pronounced Glue kss sh vine): See my entire blog entry about why the pigs bring good luck in Austria:  Got Pig?

Lucky Toadstools

Lucky Toadstools

Toadstool /Fliegenpilz (fly mushroom, pronounced: Flee gen pil ts):  In many ancient cultures (and in some not-so-ancient ones, ahem) poisonous mushrooms were used as hallucinogenic drugs and and were therefore considered a good luck charm (good luck if the toad stool didn’t kill you or cause you severe stomach cramping in the process, I suppose). And apparently, they are called “fly mushroom” in German because flies seek them out to get high. “Hey! Check out that shroom! I’m going in.” Who knew flies have drug problems.  And depending if they are used for good or evil, they can also be considered tools of the devil (“Now where did I put that toadstool?”).  In case you are dying to know this and more useless facts about toadstools, check out Amanita muscaria on Wikipedia

Kaerntnerstrasse Kiosk of Good Luck Snowballs in Vienna

Kaerntnerstrasse Kiosk of Good Luck Snowballs in Vienna

TIP: Buy your loved ones a good luck charm at a kiosk now until New Year’s at stalls popping up everywhere throughout the city or pick up a charm for yourself in Vienna on Tuesday, December 31 between 2 and 5 pm in the Chimney Sweep Museum / Rauchfangkehrer Museum in the Klagbaumgasse 4, 1040 Vienna. A glass of champagne awaits the adults and a chocolate chimney sweep the kids but maybe you can sweet talk your way to a chocolate or rescue a poor child from the risks of tooth decay by taking his or hers. To get there: take Tram 1 to Johann Strauß Gasse and walk 3 minutes (100 meters) or take U1 to Taubstummengasse and walk 11 minutes (600 meters)

 

Good Luck Charms Kiosk am Graben in Vienna's First District

Good Luck Charms Kiosk am Graben in Vienna’s First District

Read more here:

(in German) Article from the Austrian Krone Newspaper, December 26, 2012 entitled “Zehn Millionen Glücksbringer jedes Jahr verschenkt” (“Ten Million Good Luck Charms Given Away Every Year”)

A Johann Wolfgang von Goethe poem for New Year’s entitled “Zum neuen Jahr” – Goethe is simply great, isn’t he? Print This Post

QUOTES ABOUT LUCK

“Glück ist meistens wie die Brille, nach der man vergebens sucht. Man findet sie nicht, weil man sie schon auf der Nase hat.“ (Luck is like eyeglasses that you look for but never find because they are already sitting on your nose). – Paul Hörbiger, Austrian actor who died in 1981.

“Nicht das, was wir sind und haben, bestimmt unser Glück, sondern das, was wir glauben zu sein und zu haben.” (Not that which we are and have determine our luck, but rather, that which we believe to be and to have). – Peter Rosegger, Austrian writer and poet (1843 – 1918)

“Dort, wo du nicht bist, da ist das Glück.” (There, where you are not, there is where luck is). – Franz Schubert, Austrian composer

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Flame of Bethlehem spreads light throughout the world – a relatively new Austrian tradition is born and shared

Spreading light as a symbol of peace.

Lighting all candles with Light of Peace

Lighting all candles with Light of Peace

Unto You A Child…
For over 17 years, a child, typically from Upper Austria (also the birth place of Silent Night, by the way) has traveled to Bethlehem to light a lantern from a flame burning at the Star of Nativity Church in the cave that marks the place of birth of Jesus of Nazareth. The Austrian child then flies with the explosion-proof lantern to Vienna. During a holy mass (this year held in the Vienna Votive Church on December 14), the flame is shared with children delegates throughout Austria and Europe, who then transport the Bethlehem

Christmas Lanterns are used to fetch the Light of Peace and bring home

Christmas Lanterns are used to fetch the Light of Peace and bring home

light back to their hometowns. On December 24, on Christmas Eve, the flame is set out in public places such as boy scout organizations, fire departments and red cross stations and shared with the general public.  Every year Austrians pilgrim with lanterns in hand to the flame brought from Bethlehem to light their candles for Christmas celebrations. The “Light of Peace” or “Bethlehem Light” lanterns are then used to light the candles throughout the household for the Christmas Eve celebrations.

Send Forth Your Light (Psalm 43:3)
Originally the Christmas ritual was confined to Austria, however in 1989, the boy scouts picked up the tradition and arranged to share the flame of peace with other boy scout troops throughout Europe. In 1991, the light traveled eastward under the name “Bethlehem Light.” The Slovakian boy scouts pick up the

Advent candle

Advent candle

light in Vienna and then pass it on from Slovakia over the border to boy scouts in Poland where it continues on to Lithuania, Belorussia, Ukraine and Russia. In 1995 with Austria’s entry into the EU, the light first traveled to Strasbourg, where it has been transferred ever since via the European Parliament to over 30 other European nations.

Light of Peace in Weyer, Upper Austria

Light of Peace in Weyer, Upper Austria

Turning Darkness Into Light
The Light of Peace from Bethlehem tradition was started by the (Upper) Austrian Public Television Station (ORF) as part of an initiative to collect donations for charities.

Let there Be Peace on Earth
In 2001, because of the unstable conditions in Israel, children from Israel brought the Light of Peace to Austria and during Advent the flame was sent to NYC where it burned at Ground Zero in remembrance of 9/11. In 2012, again because of the conflict in the Middle East and lack of security, rather than sending a child to fetch the flame, an Arabic child transported the light to Tel Aviv where it was then flown to Austria.

See another post from 2015 about the Light of Peace complete with where and when in the US and Austria you can fetch your Light of Peace: Illuminating your Christmas Celebration with a Flame from Jesus’ Birthplace – Light of Peace/Friedenslicht.

Check out the website with more English info: Peace Light Website and efforts to introduce the tradition to the US. Print This Post

Where to find your Light of Peace in the USA
A very cool map shows where to get your Light of Peace in the States: Peace Light MapTexas and North Carolina – where are you guys?! Get gemütlich and someone driving home for the Holidays from the north, spread some light southward!

Birthcave in Bethlehem

Church of Nativity Cave – Birthplace of Jesus of Nazareth

Where to find your Light of Peace in Austria
The Austrian Boy Scouts Website lists the locations and times when they are offering the light of Peace on December 24: https://www.ppoe.at/aktionen/friedenslicht/archiv/friedenslichtverteilung10.html

On Friday, December 20, 2013, the Peace of Light traveled on the IC 543 train to the St. Pölten Train Station where it was then distributed to all the train stations throughout the country and will be available to the public of December 24.

Available in Vienna at several of the city’s cemeteries: http://www.friedhoefewien.at/eportal/ep/contentView.do/pageTypeId/13572/programId/22031/contentTypeId/1001/channelId/-26793/contentId/22608

All ORF state studios (Austrian Public TV stations):  http://kundendienst.orf.at/kontakte/landesstudios.html

Light of Peace - Weyer Youth Group, Upper Austria

Light of Peace – Weyer Youth Group, Upper Austria

In Vienna at the following Red Cross Offices: Blood donation center on Dec 24 from 8 am – 1 pm, Wiedner Hauptstr 32, 1040 Vienna, and 8 am – 4 pm at Nottendorfer Gasse 21, 2nd floor,room 223, 1030 Vienna, U3 Erdberg (subway station), exit Nottendorfer Gasse. Use main entrance and follow signs to “Friedenslicht.”

In Vienna at the Fire Department Am Spitz, Weisselgasse 3, 1210Vienna, from 9.00am until noon.

Candle in St. Stephan's Cathedral in Vienna

Candle in St. Stephan’s Cathedral in Vienna

Light of Peace from Bethlehem

Light of Peace of Bethlehem Poster

Christmas Tree Candle

Christmas Tree Candles are lit from the Flame of Bethlehem

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