18 Tell-tale Signs Your Guy’s Really A Krampus
1. Football season ended but the horns stayed on
You just thought he was a die-hard Vikings fan but he’s never been to Minnesota and didn’t know the lyrics to “Skol Vikings”.
2. His toothbrush is a chisel
3. When July arrived, he was still donning the fur jumpsuit
Some people are always cold, you thought. And you were sure Great Uncle Voronkov must have spent a fortune on it. A little unconventional for sure, but it also demonstrated irresistible fashion daring.
4. The card beside your photo in his wallet, is a Krampus store frequent shoppers card
5. He carries a basket instead of a backpack
Though he insists that his choice book bag is more environmentally friendly than backpacks made in developing countries by child labor, you couldn’t help but notice the naughty child compartment label hanging from the side.
6. He wears cow bells on his butt
It makes him easier to find in Home Depot but they can get a bit annoying in the movie theater.
7. He always has chains but never a bike
8. Bring-along campfire
Whenever you go camping, he has a burning cauldron in tow. And you thought he was just an über-prepared eagle scout.
9. He owns a broom
He may insist on calling it a “Rute” but hey, at least he has one. If only he could manage to use it without always smacking you on the legs and derrière.
10. He disappears all night on December 5
11. He grunts
You thought he had a bad case of snoring but he grunts ALL THE TIME.
12. He grew up in a cave
And his name’s not Flintstone and he never lived in Matera, Italy.
13. Little kids are on their best behavior when he’s around
They cower, do their homework, say please and thank you and even volunteer to do more chores (preferably errands that take them far away).
14. He buys you eau de toilette La Chèvre for your birthday
15. He doesn’t walk, he hops, runs or chases kids
16. His favorite song is “Ich bin das Böse”
17. When everyone else at the concert whipped out their iPhone flashlight App, he lit his torch.
18. A bearded guy in red suit, tall cap and long walking stick hurling out bags of candy to all who pass shows up wherever you go.
19. He likes it when you’re naughty
Nevermind. On second thought, that proves nothing.
More Krampus Info here: http://www.kcblau.com/krampus/